Can I just tell you that this summer has been, definitely, the best summer of my entire life. After an extremely draining and challenging semester at Campbell, God reminded me that He pulled me through because I obviously couldn't do it on my own. Even when I ignored Him, He remained with me (Deuteronomy 31:6). A week after exams ended, I was still feeling numb to the world and to the Lord, I had even flown all the way to Costa Rica (represent my Tico family!) and stayed there (and in the rainforest) for a few days before the callouses began to break away. I got to see the glory of God in His beautiful creations, some things you just will NEVER see in North Carolina. Also, one day, I was sitting at my host home, doing homework, and my Tico bro, Glen, came in from school. I asked him how his day was and he said it was good and he was happy. I remember asking him why he was happy and he said "Why should I not be happy? I don't worry about the little things, and besides, I have the Lord in my heart." And then I got slapped in the face, not literally...but through him, God reminded me that nothing else matters but Him.
Coming home from the CR, I realized that two years of hurt, anger, jealousy, and depression had melted away. For a year, I had been trying to make those things go away, but no matter how hard I tried, they were too dug in for me to pull out. But without me even noticing, the Lord was strong enough, big enough, and gracious enough, to just melt them away, and for the first time in a long time, I was free and the burden was gone (Psalm 139:1, 5-6, 11-14)!
A week and a half later I was on three flights to Las Vegas, Nevada and six other states out west. I got to ride a bus with a bunch of old people...and I'll have you know that really, their bodies only grow old...but not their hearts or souls. They were such a joy to hang around with, to hear their stories.
And again, a week and a half after returning from a nine-day trip out west, I headed to the wonderful UNC-W for FCA Leadership camp. Let me tell you what...God really used that to teach me a lot. Going into the week, I knew I wasn't where I needed to be with the Lord and I could feel the spiritual battle in my heart. My sinful nature desperately just wanted to sleep in and ignore the Bible...but I could feel the long-growing hunger for the Lord and His word building every day. Leadership camp was SUCH a blessing. I got to talk to some amazing women of God, older and my age. And one really stuck out...Rebecca, a young lady that has a similar mother-daughter story to my own...and yet she loves her mother with such grace, after allowing the Lord to transform her heart and the heart of her mother. God used that to show me how selfish and disrespectful I've been to my mother just because I've been angry at her. Now, I'm trying to remain diligent in the Word and in time with God...and just asking the Lord to transform my heart everyday and fill me with His Holy Spirit, and that He would help me forgive my mom, because I know that I am to weak to do it on my own. I can't wait to see where else the Lord is going to take me.
P.S.~ This week was TOTAL confirmation that I am supposed to be a high school teacher rather than a middle school teacher, I know God has a plan for me (Jeremiah 29:11-12) and I pray my heart and mind will be soft and open to His presence and that He may use me in whatever manner possible.
In Christ,
Emily Grace
"How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them." -Psalm 139:17
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts." -Psalm 139:23
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